


Book the Fourteenth: The Curious Caretaker

by CompleteIndie



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: F/M, Lemony's signature style, Love Triangles, More people should write like that, Nightmares, anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 14:13:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompleteIndie/pseuds/CompleteIndie
Summary: Dear Reader,Before you click the exit button and blacklist this site, you should probably know why. This archived story is the only archived story that describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's stay with, in fact, of all people, me.There are many pleasant things to read about, but this book contains none of them. Within its pages, are such miserable details such as hidden truths, root beer floats, and a rotten bank. Clearly, you do not want to read about such things.I have sworn to document this story, and to write it down as best as I can, so I should know that this story is best forgotten on the seventh page of results, or perhaps just deleted all together.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket





	Book the Fourteenth: The Curious Caretaker

**Author's Note:**

> For Beatrice;
> 
> You were my angel.  
> Now I wish you weren’t.

You might have heard the old saying ancient history. Ancient history is when  knowledge of some fact or event that has become so commonly known that it has lost its original pertinence. For example, I could say that the death of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart has become ancient history, as his last words have been credited as very different sentences overtime. Or if I were to say that a person once made a mistake he feared to have taken a future away from him, and this event is twisted or warped from its original, despite the person it pertained to knowing full well the details.

So I am sad to say it is not ancient history when I say what happened to the Baudelaire children when they left the dreadful island they had been stuck on, and that everything is this ‘book’ is right.

The Baudelaires had arrived at surprisingly, Briny Beach, for the third time since the wretched fire that killed their parents. Klaus was rather queasy, a word here meaning “felt horrible, as a byproduct of sea and/or motion sickness”. Sunny was trying to ease her older brother, before he threw up. Meanwhile, Violet merely looked onwards, holding little Beatrice -- my niece -- silently thinking about how it seemed justice and peace won the day, at least for now.

Violet waited, and even tried to help, for Klaus to come over his sea and/or motion sickness -- the teenager made no point to forget to say he was never going to ride in a boat as long as he lived -- before the three Baudelaires walked to their old bank, Mulcantary Money Management, little Beatrice curled up in Violet’s arms.

* * *

Violet took one step out of the bank, before sitting down on the concrete sidewalk, glum. Klaus followed soon after, steaming, and then Sunny, who looked annoyed. Of course, all three reactions were expected, considering Mr. Poe had just told the Baudelaires that their entire fortune, due to all three of them being presumed dead, had been terminated, and scattered to the four winds. Scattered to the four winds basically means that something or someone has been separated, and possibly lost. For example, if your all of your kids are in college in different states, your family had been scattered to the four winds.

Well, a difference between college and fortunes are major, ranging from mundane ones, like the fact the only letters in both college and fortunes are O and E, to big ones, such as having a fortune being quite fun and enjoyable. Another is such that the Baudelaires hadn’t been chased to the ocean and back by a villainous arsonist over college.

All the Baudelaires had to go off of was Mr. Poe rushing them out with an address in hand. Apparently, someone had wanted to see the Baudelaires should they ever return, but Mr. Poe had forgotten the name -- or, to be exact, was most certainly getting the name he spouted off wrong.

The Baudelaires arrived at 13 Prospero Place, not too far from their old home. Here, they found a huge mansion, with a familiar symbol on the door. Sunny was the first to speak.

“V.F.D.”

All three Baudelaires looked at each other, nervous and anxious.

They walked up to the big yellow door, and paused. So much could go wrong.

Violet knocked.

She waited until she heard locks being messed with on the door, counting the number of clicks, turns and shifts. At least thirteen locks, then the door opened.

Now, if you ever loved somebody, whether it be your parents, your distant family, your love life, or that rather kind mailman, you would know how upsetting it is to think that somebody you care about is dead, lost or astray, a word here meaning “dead and lost”. Of course, if after a year, you find your parents alive, your family connects to you again, your love asking you to marry you, or that mailman bringing you bail money, you would know the wonderful feeling of knowing that person is alive.

Isadora Quagmire was by no means an exception to this rule.

There was a moment of silence as the Baudelaire's looked at Isadora, and Isadora at the Baudelaires.

Then, the poet hugged Violet, Klaus and Sunny in one fell swoop, not planning on ever letting go.

After Isadora actually did let go -- much to Violet’s request, before little Beatrice cried -- Isadora started speaking, somewhat teary eyed.

“I thought that you guys were dead, but… You’re alive! Oh my god, you’re alive! Come in, we need to talk.” She said almost dazed, letting the Baudelaires in.”Duncan, Quigley, the Baudelaires are alive!”

Violet and Klaus could hear the running long before they saw it.

“Klaus!”, cried Duncan. “Violet!”, said Quigley.

“What happened?”, Isadora asked.

Klaus smiled faintly. “It's a long story. Do you have anywhere to sit?”

* * *

“...and that’s when Mr. Poe sent us here.” Violet finished. She had just told the story of their adventures since the Village of Fowl Devotees, which has recently burned to ground.

There was silence, before a man spoke up.

“So I was right.”

Now, if you live with someone, you wouldn’t be surprised to hear their voice. If you are a guest who just didn't know that person was there, you’d be surprised, but no more. But if you actively believed there was exactly three people, and a fourth spoke up, you would likely be startled. The Baudelaires were. Klaus was the first to speak.

“W-what did you say?”

“I was right. You were on the island. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lemony Snicket, and we need to talk.”


End file.
